Ten rules for making a video game montage that isn’t total crap

If you plan on making a montage of some awesome video game footage, follow these rules, or else its likely you will get stabbed in the face with a knife from across the internet.

10. Broadcast yourself or give credit when due.  If you’re planning on using footage of other players, you need to make it blatantly obvious who is on the screen.  You can’t show sweet headshots then give the other shooters names in the credits, viewers need to know who made what kills.

9. Rocket-whores need not apply. I remember watching Halo 2 montages riddled with triple kills thanks only to the game’s built-in lock-on feature. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ll take a lock-on triple kill every time I get the chance, but I don’t consider it “epic montage quality”. You’re proud of getting a triple kill that a person with only one finger could get? Anyone can upload that.

8. Point of view should stay behind you…mostly. Plenty of games support video editing built into the game with no software video editing skills necessary (Halo 3’s “Theater Mode”), but that doesn’t mean a bird’s eye or third-person view of you owning another player is better than the familiar first-person view. After all, your audience wants to see the awesome moves and steps you took to get that epic frag, so keep them in the driver’s seat, rather than the bleachers.

7. The background music doesn’t need to be synced to the gameplay, but it should be something worthwhile. Suspenseful classical-type music is ok, but a bit cliche. Your best bet is to choose one of your all time favorite songs that represents you. That means not one that’s on the radio every other hour. Rap, rock, techno, rave, there’s so many thousands of songs out there, so why choose the one that your 10-year-old sister already knows the words to by heart?

6. Shareware is for retards from the 90s. Got a banner at the top of your screen that says “www.fraps.com” during the whole video? Apparently you haven’t heard of this brand new tool called “Google.com”. If you can’t find free video recording software [or how to get full versions of non-free software without paying], then you’re quite internet-incompetent, and it would seem safe to assume your video content is equivalent, so why watch it?

5. Hi-res makes a difference. I refuse to view any video that is pixelated before maximizing to full screen mode. I shouldn’t have to squint to make out the type of gun you’re using.

4. If you want it to be awesome, only use awesome content. Not every snipe or nade kill is awesome, so stop using them to fill up some empty spots in your video. I don’t want to see how you sniped a guy in his leg with three shots because he was a mile away with a shotgun(also, as a rule, hardly any snipes should be included if they aren’t headshots). Get back in the game and frag til you get a better two seconds of pwnage, loser.

3. There should be no where near more editing/effects than gameplay. Everyone’s really impressed you learned how to install Windows Movie Maker, now enough sliding fade-ins and “BOOM HEADSHOT!” scrolling across the screen, this isn’t a PowerPoint presentation, noob.

2. If any, the intro and credits should be no more than 20% of the total time of the video.  If your montage is 9:30s long, and gameplay hasn’t started after a minute, I’m clicking “dislike” and probably going to use my witty intellectualism in the comments to insinuate that I fancy your mother.

1. STOP USING LINKIN PARK SONGS AS THE SOUNDTRACK YOU FUCKING KIDS!!! Christ almighty. It’s kids like you that forced me to hate Linkin Park and Evanescence even though I legitimately liked them when they first came out. Now hearing “Faint” or “Papercut” makes me nauseous.

Examples of good montages: